Stalker Torture
by beatrix999
Summary: Have you ever had a stalker? Just someone you reeeally want to hurt? Well, here's your chance to vent, vent, vent! I'd just like to dedicate this story to one of my best friends ever, you know who you are.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Once upon a time (yes, I'm beginning my story with "once upon a time." Why? Well, because I can, and if you have a problem with that, then screw you, cause it's my story.) So, once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, (well not really _that_ far away, but it sounds cool) there was a girl, yup, a girl, and her name was…Blank A. (I'm leaving my characters without names 'cause I'm not good at naming people, so just think of a name you want to use instead of "blank," OK?) She was really cool and really smart, which isn't exactly that common. She had a whole lot of friends, but her two closest friends were Blank B and Blank C. They were really cool and really smart too. It was the beginning of a new school year, and they found themselves standing at the school entrance. They were really excited.

Yay, a new school year, I wonder what crap we'll go through _this _year.

Well, look on the bright side, new year, new crap.

I hate crap…

All together- (deep sigh) Well, let's get this over with.

They walked into the school, and began to look at their schedules. A and B had two classes together, no classes with C.

C-Crap.

B- Well, look on the bright side, you won't get tired of us.

C-Really?

Yeah, what she said.

C-piercing glance at A and B

**RING!!!!!!!**

Common B, we don't want to be late to our first period.

Have fun C!

Yeah, fun.

They went throughout their whole day normally until sixth period, the other class A and B had together. They entered the classroom and began to search the crowd for familiar faces. They found a few, like their totally emo, wannabe punker /goth friend, and their _really_ lame ex-guy friend from junior high who was even more emo than their wannabe punker-goth friend. They also found a lot of other people they knew. But I can't remember any, I mean, I can't think of anyone to make-up right now. Ahem…

After school…

Hey, did you notice how that one guy was staring at me?

The one all the way on the other side of the room? Yeah, it was pretty creepy, but look on the bright side…

Teresa- Why do you keep doing that!?

Stephanie-Doing what?

Teresa- Saying, "but look on the bright side," besides, these characters are nothing like us!

Stephanie- What to you mean? They're _exactly_ like us.

Teresa- Ok, first of all, I'm not the leader, no one is, we're all just kinda there. Second of all, since when are you all happy and perky all the time? And thirdly, Becca is not all emo like that!

Stephanie- Ahem!

Teresa- Well, most of the time.

Stephanie- Ahem! Ahem!

Teresa- Well, when she's not tired, or hungry, or PMSing.

Stephanie- Alright! Alright! I get your point, but like I said, it's _my _story, so I should get to write it however the heck I want. And if you don't like that, well then screw you, and not in a good way either!

Teresa- Well! If that's how you feel, then fine!

Stephanie- No! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! Please don't leave me! I don't want to be alone! You know I can't be mad at you.

Becca- What are you two fighting about now?

Teresa- Nothing.

Stephanie- Anywho, can I get back to my story now?

Teresa- Sure.

Becca- You're writing a story?

Alright, where was I? Oh yeah…

Blah, blah, blah

Yeah, it was pretty creepy; it's like he was raping you with his eyes.

I hope he heels over and dies.

I say we kill him, slowly and painfully.

You're such a sadist.

I know, but look on the bright side…

Teresa- Ahem!!!

Stephanie- Just kidding! Jeez!

B-…but I guess it can be a good thing sometimes.

A-Like when?

B-Like when we kidnap him and torture him and make him burn in hell for all eternity.

Ok, then…

…Who knows how many weeks later, after school…

Arg! I can't believe him!

C-Who?

Stalker guy, he's been staring at B for weeks now.

You mean, that guy that keeps passing by where we sit during brunch and lunch?

Yeah, that guy.

I hope he just heels over and dies, heels over and dies! (evil laugh)

B & C stare at her blankly

Oh, sorry.

C-No problem. Besides, what are the odds of that happening?

Very high if I have anything to do with it.

Yeah, ok. B, can you untangle my earphones?

Why should I?

Because you're smart and pretty and I _lurve _you.

B-I've never heard a bigger lie in my life!

C-Fine, because I'm too lazy to do it and you're not busy right now.

B-Fine.

I should go now. I'll see you guys tomorrow.

(concentrating on earphones) Yeah, bye.

C-Later.

B-All done! Hey, where'd A go?

Thanks! Oh, she went home.

B-Well we should go too, come on. Forward…March!

The next day at lunch… 

B-So, yeah, I woohooed with five people in a row last night.

How'd you pull that off?

I found all the cheat codes.

Shame on you. Its no fun it you use all the cheats.

B-Well, yeah, but I just use them to get money.

C-Get a damn job!

B-But that never gives you enough money. And then you can't buy all the stuff you want to get.

C-You can never get enough money, can you, B?

B-I can never get enough of anything.

C-Oooooh.

Eeeew!

(break out in laughter)

Oh my gosh! AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

What! What! Whaaaaaaat!!!

He's coming!

B turned around and saw stalker guy walking towards them. She got up from her spot, yeah, _her _spot, and walked in front of A to shield her from his view. As she stood there, she saw stalker guy stop at the corner and look back. He stood there staring at them for, like, a whole minute. Finally, C got up and stood next to B. They stood there staring at him until he walked around the corner.

Yeah, that's what I thought! Frikin wimp!

You guys so coo!

What a fer.

What a perv! He's seriously freaking me out!

I say we kidnap him and torture him 'till he asks to die and then torture him some more.

A-I hope he heels over and dies.

B-He should be doomed to rot in the deepest level of hell for the rest of eternity. (If I believed in hell, which I don't.)

Damn these fing nazis! They keep killing me!

B-Great, now you're gonna be all anal. What have I told you about playing Medal of Honor during school?

C-But I gotta end WWI and save the world!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The next day at lunch…

C- I finally beat Medal of Honor yesterday. Hah, that'll teach all those fing nazis…no offense.

B-None taken. Besides, I'm a nazi _vampire, _it's completely different.

C- Gotcha.

(Storms in angrily…well not really _in _cause there's nowhere to go into but you know what I mean.) I have had enough. I can't take this any longer.

B&C- What?

Stalker guy. He stared at me for hours during that test. He's sooo annoying. You know, after I took the test I had a really weird daydream.

C-About what?

I gave him a muffin and he gulped it down, because of course, it was from me, and then he _keeled_ over cause I filled it with diseases and a tapeworm.

A tapeworm? How did you manage to put a tapeworm in there? Did you bake the muffin first and then put it in, or the other way around?

Baked first then put the worm in. But the really funny part was when he tried to get back up and Becca, um, I mean C beat him down with her folder. (deep sigh) It…was great.

(thinking hard) You know...we can make that happen.

How?

Well first we'd have to kidnap him. That would be the hardest part, but after that, it's torture heaven, or hell, depending who you are.

Kidnap him huh? I don't know, its illegal, couldn't we go to jail for that?

Remember the always wise words of the T-shirt. It's only illegal if you get caught. Which we won't, I'll make sure of that. So, you in?

Yavul!

Hey C, how about you? Are you in?

Can I beat him with a steel pipe?

B-Sure. You can do whatever the heck you want to him.

C-Cool. I'm in.

B-Ok, here's the plan…

You already have the plan?

Let's just say I've been thinking about it quite a lot lately. Anyways, here's the plan.

Ok, I'll spare you the boring parts about how they kidnapped him. I'm sure you don't want to know that they used A as bait to lure stalker guy into a waiting van. Or that the van was driven by an ex-con that B hired. Or that inside the van, C was waiting to chloroform stalker guy as soon as he got into the van. I'm also sure you don't want to know about the argument they had about how they should tie him up on the way to their secret hideout, which was an abandoned coal mine up in the California mountains. And you definitely don't want to know about when B and C do each other. Just kidding. They don't. I was just checking to see if you were still awake. You are. Or are you?

Teresa- How did we find an abandoned coal mine? And I wasn't aware that there were coal mines in the California mountains.

Stephanie- Ok, seriously, how many times do I have to tell you people? My story, my rules!

Becca- Damn Nazis!

Stephanie- Ok, back to the story. So they get to the abandoned coal mine, yes, the one located in the California mountains.

B-C, go get me some lemons please.

Why me?

B-Because, I said so that's why!

C-But these Nazis keep killing me!

B- Screw the frikin nazis and go get me some damn lemons!!

C-Ok…but that's a lot of screwing. It might be a while before I can get to those lemons.

B-Just do it!!

C-Fine!

B- Fine!!

C-Fine!!!

B-FINE!!!!

What's going on here?

C-Nothing, I'm just gonna go get some lemons.

You got the paper?

Yeah, is he still out?

COLD. Let's get to work, we gotta do it before he wakes up.

So they proceeded, yes, proceeded, (don't I sound smart?) to give him paper cuts all over. In between his toes, and in between his fingers. Oh, and behind his ears and on his ankles. Basically everywhere it hurts. Then, when they couldn't find anywhere else to cut him, they drenched him in the lemon juice that C had squeezed. Then they left him there to wake up and feel the pain.

As they waited for stalker guy to wake up, B was trying to bake a muffin without killing the tapeworm inside. She had forgotten that she had to put the worm in _after _she baked the muffin. But give me a break, I mean how the heck am I supposed to remember that the worm goes in _after _you bake the muffin. Developing an evil master plan is quite demanding on a super genius's brain like mine you know! Oh, I went off, didn't I? Sorry, I do that sometimes when I get into character.

So, _she _couldn't make the muffin. The crushing pain of defeat was slowly creeping into her veins, making her sink lower and lower into emo-ness every second. There was only one thing that could comfort her and lift her spirits. She walked into the viewing room and sat in one of the really comfy chairs just as stalker guy was regaining consciousness. The sound of excruciating pain and anguish always relaxed her. Yeah, she was a sadist all right, and she was proud of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any or all nightmares you experience after reading any chapters of this story. I am also not responsible for any feelings of emo-ness or disturbiness you get after reading this story. I do not know Kadaj personally and do not own any aspects of Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children. Oh, and none of the things that happen in this story are real. No matter how much you want them to be, they're not. I'm sorry, but my powers _do_ have a limit. So anywho, enjoy my really lame short chapter about how a stalker gets tortured and killed and stuff.

**Chapter 3**

When we left off, Blank B was sitting in an extremely comfortable chair, listening to the sweet sound of pain and suffering. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her, this peaceful moment was about to be interrupted.

Now what? Do we blowtorch him? Ooh, I know, we feed him to ravenous sharks?

No, we get to watch him heal.

Heal? I thought we were gonna torture him? Why would we let him heal?

Well, we don't want to kill him, just hurt him until he wants to die. Besides, letting him heal gives him a false sense of security.

No it doesn't, how can you feel secure when you're trapped in a strange room and you just felt excruciating pain?

I know, I just felt like saying that. Can't I say anything without anyone interrupting or correcting me? Geez! (deep sigh) Well, you should go check on him.

Oh, about that, shouldn't we wear masks or something? What if he recognizes us, won't that be a problem once we let him go?

No, I told you, we're going to erase all memory of this ever happening, and even if he does remember anything, he'll just think he's remembering a bad dream.

Teresa-_ Erase_ his memory? How are we supposed to do that?

Stephanie- Grrr! It's my frikin story! I can do whatever I want! I can live in space without oxygen if I wanted to. I could cut him up into a million pieces and then boil him in oil, and he would live! And do you know _why _he would live? CAUSE IT'S MY STORY! (panting)

Teresa- Fine, I get the picture, Gosh!

Stephanie- Hey, that's actually not a bad idea…

Teresa- What?

Stephanie- The cutting him into a million pieces and then boiling him.

Teresa- Yeah, but who's gonna cut him up? And how? However you do it, its bound to make a mess. A _huge _mess.

Stephanie- I've got a few ideas.

B- Hey C!

C- Yeah?

B- Do you still have Kadaj's number?

C- Yeah…what do you want it for? Cause I'm telling you right now, I'm not willing to share him with anyone.

B- Don't worry, he's all yours. Ask him if he would be interested in inflicting massive amounts of pain. I need him to come and cut stalker guy into a million tiny pieces with his samurai sword.

C- I won't even have to ask. I already know the answer. (Hello, Kadaj? Yeah, would you be interested in using your awesomely evil skills to inflict massive amounts of pain on an unwilling stalker?… Aha…Yeah… Loz?…Looking for Genova?…No? Really? Oh, ok. Bye.) He'll be right over.

B-Great.

So they let stalker guy heal and kept him in a dark room until Kadaj arrived. Then they shined? shone? a bright light on him, which caused momentary blindness. Then they let Kadaj get to work on him. He cut him up into a million tiny pieces with his awesome samurai sword…

…and then boiled him. But since it's Kadaj, and he's almost as sadistic as Blank B, he gave him a phoenix down and did it all over again…and again…and again. Then he left him in the dark room to cry over his cruel, cruel fate.

Kadaj- Ok, well I'm done here. And unless I'm gonna get laid or turn into Sephiroth, or both, I gotta go look for Jenova…No takers? Alright, bye, have fun.

C-Bye Kadaj…I'll talk to _you _later.

Yeah, thanks for coming, I really appreciate it.

Yeah, thanks and let us know if you find Genova.

Kadaj- Why would you want to know where Genova is?

B- Oh, we'd just like a heads up if our world and or life as we know it was suddenly going to come to an end. You know, just to enjoy our last few minutes.

Kadaj- Can do. Later.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 (right?)**

When we last left our sadistic trio, they were bidding adieu to our almost as sadistic super hot mommy's boy, Kadaj after he had finished cutting up stalker guy and boiling him. Now, on with the story. B- Well, that was fun, wasn't it? 

I've gotta say, it was mildly refreshing to see someone's pain…other than my own.

See it is better to be a sadist than a masochist.

Well, when you have two options…

…always choose both. I know.

Yeah, that's one of my many mottoes.

You have more than one?

Yeah, one for occasion.

Huh…anyways did you guys watch Myth Busters last night?

I couldn't, I actually did my homework last night.

B-Oh my god! Quick someone get me the weather report for hell 'cause I think it just froze over!

C- Hahaha, verrry funny. So, what was it about?

B- What was what about?

Myth Busters

B- Oh, right. Ok, so apparently if you drop a single drop of water on someone's forehead at a steady rate, they go crazy.

What kind of crazy?

You know...crazy.

Yah, but straight jacket crazy or boohoo I want my mommy crazy?

I want my mommy crazy.

Cool! We should do that and see if it works.

Well of course it works, they proved it on Myth Busters. And we all know that we should always believe what the TV tells us. But you're right, we should do it to see how long he can last.

S

o they set it up so that a single drop of water would fall on stalker guy's forehead every single second. He was tied down to a cold, hard, extremely uncomfortable steel table. His head was tied down as well so that he couldn't avoid the water.

Becca - Can I ask you something?

Stephanie- Sure…go right ahead, I don't mind you rudely interrupting me in the middle of a torture story that I'm writing out of the pure generosity and compassion of my heart.

Becca- I have no idea what you just said, but here it goes. How come you keep talking about us in third person?

Stephanie- Because. I'm not writing about us, _remember_?

Becca- You're not?

Stephanie- Well I am, but _they_ don't know that.

Becca- Who's they?

Stephanie- They. On the other side of the computer. You know, they.

Becca- Oh, right. They. Gotcha. Shhh.

So like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted…

B- I bet you five bucks he won't last more than an hour.

Ten says he doesn't even last fifteen minutes.

You're on! C, you want in?

Sure, I bet half an hour.

B- Alright people pull up a chair and watch the show.

So they all sat down on one of those really comfy chairs in the viewing room and ate. What did they eat, you ask? Well, I don't want to go into detail, but they had chips and egg rolls, and sandwiches and cinnamon rolls, and fried rice and muffins.(minus the tape worm)

ten minutes later… 

B- Oh my gosh, he's crying!

What a queer!

He's crying? This is great!

Even better than hearing him scream?

Waaay better. I can die happy now.

No you can't. We're not through with him yet.

We're not?

Not by a long shot.

What else could we possibly do to him. We've already made him blind, cut him up made him burn, boiled him, made him scream and made him cry.

Believe me, there's a lot more we can do. But that can wait. Now that we know who won the bet let's wait and see how long it takes before he starts screaming.


End file.
